...but,
HEY! [Bud’t Haefner “Bud Haefner” Bud buddy-buddy-buddy “Bud
Haefner” the Barber /an so ere’s Nan Dipmortment’s
m’porterent story bomb//and so, ya see—[pay some damned
himtention eh you may learn something !!! J. (which one’s snot ‘mportant) ee was
getting a “haircut” from “Bud Haefner” in buzz-curley
style (‘e hoped as damned loved those ‘toogies, those damned-downed silly
‘toogies) and it was maybe “33”% oops! Sorry! No,
WAIT!
Yes WAIT!
Hear
out the following complaint against you:
That
number up there should have been written this way = “33%” see now
the meaning’s very very clear – but you know ‘e really got to get to the bottom
of this. Did you deliberately separate the “33” from the “%” and thereby
deprive both items of all meaningful identity? Did you—deliberately
manipulate that text to distract the reader’s attention, and waste as much as
possible of the reader’s time? If so, did
you do this to prevent the reader from proceeding on and reading
something whose content would point back to you and your secret
history of even more terrible crimes?
--- never mind sorry back to the intended agenda “whatever that
is” [dear God shut up already okay? Okay!!
Done!
So! but report
back to here at the end of your story to be taken for further investigation and
possible punishment for that “33%” infraction which is
the name under which this casee will be docketed okay? Yes! so proceed on out own recognizance . . .
Thank
you judge
So, anyway—that
percentage of the “Bud Haefner” haircut only got done, when, dear
God no a big far-off horn shot-blared all
superloud, and “Bud Haefner” ran off to do some-kind’s “Vulontraleerienne
Fyre-Frighting” (of which ‘e ‘lso ‘ppened to be the Chief,
oh, whap, and so ‘e sat there, nearly half done in the chair only, and, Whap!
the unknown blank cipher-cutter over next-chair said, “well, kid, Ey
I will finish you.” but but but NO! “Bud Haefner” is my
barber!
I will have
no barber but “Bud”!
Hokay
hokeydoke!
And,
so, ‘e sat hour, after hour, // As “Bud Haefner” + force fought a fire
to the finish elsewhere, // ones ‘n’ others came/went and
came/went and came and came and came and went
and went o’ hour after hour until—here came back “Bud
Haefner” stenching of smoke, and, when ‘e saw, e’ flung up, and
flipped down, flung down ‘is hat ‘ard as humanly
possible!!! . And what
happened then J. really don’t know, won’t know, don’t wanna know, no don’t ,kdnnme
dk,s e4nbu /// so anyway—I do not think I can say I
have ever been o’er sides this spot off the neighborhood can you?
no-most probably not, but
so
that’s the whole story not much, hey-la pupa
Okay
judge, I’m done here I am --
do what you will with me I am all yours
